Member-only story
That Time Aliens Took Over My Children
Or At Least I Wished They Had
A weird thing happened to me this morning: Both of my children got out of bed after only asking them one time. Then they pleasantly dressed themselves, ate a full breakfast of exactly what I made for them, and walked into school on time. Early, actually.
I know. Sounds pretty boring … if you don’t have kids.
But if you have kids, you know it’s a weirdo thing. You might even already be casually heading over to the news channel to check the feed. Full double blood moon? Wacky Wednesday? That sort of stuff.
More experienced parents are calling grandma to ask if they had ever cooperated as children. In fact I just overheard a neighbor calling Center for Disease Control to ask if some type of strange herd illness broke out. Then I noticed the mail carrier directing a squad of National Guard troops down at the corner where my house was and they started filling sandbags. My phone alerted me that NASA.gov is directing all satellites to check if the earth’s magnetic fields flipped their poles. Wow, word really spreads when my kids behave, right?
It was weird not having the normal routine, so I had to go through the motions, just to ease into the mental adjustment. I went to the bathroom and loudly encouraged myself to get ready! several…
